You Have a Doppelgänger.

You have a doppelgänger. This would usually shock you. If you were anyone else. But you’re not anyone else. You’re you. So this is just something that you have accepted. You are yourself, and you have a doppelgänger. You spend your days doing things you like to do. Playing games you like, spending time with your family and friends. You don’t actually have that many hobbies. But, that’s who you are. You also spend way too much of your time watching what the doppelgänger is doing. How do you know what the doppelgänger is doing?

You just do.

What is the doppelgänger doing? Also things you like to do. But, in a different way. The doppelgänger also does not-you-ish things. It is always a surreal experience for you to view these things happening. Because this person in every aspect of the word, is you. They look like you, they sound like you, and they act and think like you.

Except for when they don’t.

You view them doing these things you would never do. Things that if you did them, you would hate yourself. Things that you almost wish that you did. Which in this case, makes you feel like shit, so you want them to stop. It feels like you reach out to stop them, and in your way is a glass wall. You’re screaming for them to stop. Banging on the wall to get their attention. But they don’t stop.

Because they can’t hear you.

You wish you could talk to the doppelgänger. Ask them to stop pretending to be you. But the doppelgänger doesn’t know that you exist. That’s right, they have no idea that they are a doppelgänger. You can’t blame them for that. But at the same time, you do. You wish they would stop pretending to be you. You wish people would see you for you, instead of the doppelgänger.

But life isn’t fair, is it?

One might ask, “Doesn’t everyone else notice the doppelgänger? Do they not find it weird?” The answer to this question is no. No one notices the doppelgänger. Well, they do. But they don’t acknowledge that they’re a doppelgänger. In fact, if one were to compare you two, they would assume that you’re the doppelgänger. Why would one assume that you’re the doppelgänger, one could ask?

You don't think you'll ever know.

When you view the doppelgänger, it feels as if you’re looking into a distorted mirror. Almost every detail is right. But, no, something is off. Not by a lot. It may not be noticeable to anyone else, but it’s noticeable to you. You can tell. It shouldn’t be off, but it is. You don’t know why. You wish that the mirror wasn’t distorted. You actually can’t tell. Is it the mirror that is distorted, or is it you?

Maybe they’re right. Maybe you are the doppelgänger.

This thought puts a hollow feeling in your chest. All of these thoughts do. You live through this every day. Every day you view a doppelgänger who thinks they’re you pretending to be you. And everyone thinks that they are you. You wish you could escape this reality. You wish sometimes that they were you, and that you were…

Not here.

Because of the doppelgänger, what is fact to you is fiction to others. It is your reality. Your truth. But the doppelgänger is their version of you presented to the world. Because that’s all anyone sees. That distorted mirror reflection. You study your reflection. What is off, exactly? Parts of your body. Blemishes and scars, accessories that should be present but aren’t. Parts of your personality. Other details that make your skin crawl. The doppelgänger doesn’t have these attributes that are so uniquely you. Your reflection isn’t accurate. But you must pretend that it is.

Because that’s the way things are.

Some of the things the doppelgänger does are reprehensible. You don't want to think about it. But you do. The thoughts plague your mind. The sound of the knife tearing against the fabric. Jagged, horrid cuts. The sudden stopping of all sound. The gasps of shock. The looks of horror and dismay. The flood of those you care about asking why you would do such a thing. The looks of betrayal. But you didn't do it. You would never do that. The doppelgänger did. You're begging, pleading for them all to understand that it wasn't you.

But, was it not you?

The doppelgänger makes your life complicated. You constantly wonder why they exist. Why you? Not that you would wish this upon anyone else. Why at all? You hate them. You hate that they’re pretending to be you. You hate that everyone thinks they’re you. You’re obsessed with them. They make you feel like a stranger in your own skin. That they present as more “you” than you do sometimes. But, they make you feel that if they weren’t there to compare yourself to, who would you be?

Would you even exist?

The doppelgänger gives you a standard that you can compare yourself to. This isn’t always a bad thing. You think that there are things you don’t do, so you’re better. It raises your ego feeling like you’re better. But then you remember that other people think you do these things. The seeds of anger are planted in their reflection of you. You’re back to feeling like shit.

But maybe you should focus on the good.

You wonder if there are other doppelgängers. Of other people. How would they feel? Would they feel the same way as you? Would they dislike their doppelgänger more than you do? Would they like their doppelgänger more than you do? You wonder if you have other doppelgängers. Others that you’ve never noticed. How different from you are they? More or less similar than your doppelgänger is? You wonder if doppelgängers are more common than one may think.

Is the doppelgänger crucial to your existence?

Yes. Without the doppelgänger, you wouldn’t be you. They are unfortunately a part of your existence. Although you hate it, you have a doppelgänger. They pretend to be you. Everyone thinks that they’re you. They do things you wish they wouldn't. This is something that you have accepted. You are yourself, and you have a doppelgänger. Complaining about it won’t make them go away. You have been learning to coexist with them.

Maybe one day, everyone else will see you for who you are, instead of what your doppelgänger makes them think you are. Once everyone sees you, the doppelgänger will, too. They'll know that you exist. Who they've been replicating this whole time.

Then everyone will know the truth.