Ultraman the Killer

Author's note: If you don't understand what's going on, read the story, Kamen Rider the Killer first. If you don't feel like doing that, you could treat this like a Star Wars movie and read this story first before going back and pretending the other story is a flashback, or you could read both simultaneously and pretend that the story is happening out of order, like a Christopher Nolan film.

It had been several months since Andrew Andrews passed away. The funeral was emptier than a room filled with people who actually read the terms and conditions before making an account online, with the only person present being a man who was trying to sell laundry detergent. If one could describe the event at hand, it'd be a farce.

Though surprisingly, one man had actually been inspired by Andrew Andrews work. Shocking I know.

He'd once had a normal sounding name, probably something like Kevin, Joe, or something else that you'd probably hear selected as the name of an NPC in Call of Duty, but after that attack, he'd gotten inspired.

His name would now be MANDREW ANDREWS!

After somehow outdoing Andrew Andrews in terms of fucking stupid names, Mandrew began doing research on how Andrew became Kamen Rider the Killer.

Mandrew had searched ancient temples, lost ruins, and even through the eternal vacuum of space, until he just found out he could use ChatGPT instead.

Mandrew sat at the computer and began typing into the AI prompt over how to gain everlasting power to crush all in his way.

The AI took a second to comprehend all this before saying "sorry your session has expired, would you like to try one of our virtual AI girlfriends?"

Mandrew was about to smash his computer before stopping for a second and saying "bookmark that for later ok?"

The wannabe serial killer exited from his house and began pondering over what to do. How on earth did Andrew become Kamen Rider the Killer like that?

Then, almost as if the Heavens wanted to answer his question, the Slenderman appeared from the shadows.

Mandrew Andrews grinned as he saw the business suited man in all his glory before saying, "so, we meet at last"

Slenderman spoke and said "it would appear my reputation prece-" but Mandrew interrupted and said "man Jeff, you sure have lost weight."

Slenderman corrected him and said "I'm not Jeff the Killer"

"Then you must be The Rake"

"Incorrect"

"Ticci Toby"

"Not even close"

"Then you're probably Jane the Killer and you had a sex change in order to hide your identity"

"I'm Slenderman dumbass"

"I was about to say that"

If Slenderman had eyes, he'd be rolling them right now.

Slendy then said "look, I had an entire ominous speech planned out but you just killed the mood with your stupidity, so do you want some free superpowers or not?"

Mandrew said "yeah sure"

Slenderman then handed him a capsule and said "push the button on this and you'll transform into a silver giant who can crush all in his way. Make sure to kill lots of people for me, okay?"

Mandrew took it and said "thanks gramps, I owe ya."

Slenderman said "I hope you die in an even more embarrassing way than the last guy" before vanishing into a puff of black smoke.

Mandrew said "man, I wonder what my serial killer name should be?"

The soon-to-be serial killer thought about it for a while, but no names popped into his head.

Then Mandrew looked up and saw the title of the story, before saying "hey that works!"

Ultraman the Killer then ran off to go and begin his crusade to kill in the name of his role model, Kamen Rider the Killer!

...

Mandrew arrived at the most populated area you could possibly imagine, a KFC, before saying "alright, let's get em ready for my awesomeness!"

Mandrew pushed the button on-top of his capsule and suddenly was enveloped in an aura of light. He could feel his body increasing in size and his strength increasing 10-fold.

Now, a silver giant stood in place of Mandrew Andrews. Ultraman the Killer had just made his debut.

Ultraman the Killer looked upon the people triumphantly, but even though there was now a silver titan square in the middle of the restaurant, no one seemed to care.

"If you're wondering how a skyscraper sized giant was able to fit into a KFC, it's because all the buildings in this tokusatsu x creepypasta universe run on the same logic as the magic bag from Felix the Cat"- Gandhi (1922)

Ultraman the Killer wandered over to a man eating a large bucket of fried chicken and slapped the man upside the head.

The man looked over and said "whozat?"

Ultraman the Killer looked at him triumphantly and said "I'm the hottest new Creepypasta in town, Ultraman the Killer!"

The man said "kay" before getting back to eating his fried chicken.

Ultraman the Killer frowned at that. Nobody treated him that way (unless it was his husbando, Andrew Andrews) so it was time for everyone's favorite silver giant to take action.

Ultraman the Killer reached his hand into the man's fried chicken bucket and pulled out one of the chicken legs. The soon-to-be serial killer then began smugly munching on the leg in-front of his chosen victim like nobody's business.

The man looked over and frowned.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

Ultraman the Killer laughed and said "whatcha gonna do about it" before taking another bite of the delicious morsel.

The man gently put down his chicken and said "oh I'll tell you what I'll do."

The man took off his jacket to reveal a surprisingly ripped physique. Not only that, but the man reached into his pocket and pulled out a large mace straight out of medieval times.

"Alright, let's settle this like men" said the man before walking menacingly towards our silver protagonist.

All confidence left Ultraman's body as he pleaded "uh, wait, can't we work something out?"

"Sure we can. I'll work on bashing your skull in, and you can get out of this plane of existence" said the man.

Ultraman kept backing away as he continued pleading "maybe we could just shake hands and be done?"

The man responded "I'll kick your ass, then I'll reenact kicking your ass"

"C'mon, why don't we try talking this out instead? It'll be a whole lot more fun than-" the silver giant didn't get to finish his plea as he'd suddenly heard a clicking sound in the background.

The man stopped in his tracks and asked "wha-" but was swiftly silenced as the conveniently placed landmine he'd stepped on went off and caused the man to explode into a pile of blood and guts, splattering Ultraman the Killer in the man's innards.

Naturally, no one even bothered to look up from their food.

Ultraman the Killer was speechless, but then he began to laugh.

"YES! MY FIRST VICTIM!" said the liar.

Ultraman the Killer then spread his arms over his head and flew away to go and kill more people.

....

After flying through the sky for a few hours, Ultraman the Killer landed in a golf course. Across from our intrepid protagonist was the most famous golf player in the world, Adam Sandler.

Ultraman smiled at this as he prepared to take his next victim.

The silver giant landed on the course, pointed at Adam and yelled "ADAM SANDLER!"

Adam looked around before asking curiously "who me?"

Ultraman the Killer marched over and said "the gods have chosen you to face judgement, and I intend on carrying out their punishment!"

Adam Sandler just began cowering as he said "no, please"

Ultraman the Killer laughed before saying "bargaining won't get you anywhere"

Ultraman the Killer then jumped at Adam and intended on beating the golfer to a bloody pulp

....

10 minutes had passed and Ultraman's broken and battered body lay on the golf course.

Adam Sandler wiped the blood off his knuckles before spitting on the silver giant in defiance.

"Next time you wanna kill someone, make sure they didn't star in Grown Ups 2" said Adam Sandler

Ultraman the Killer coughed up a gigantic wad of blood as Adam Sandler left to go and continue his game.

However, as Adam began to stroke his final hole, a small voice came from his golf ball.

"******" said the Golf Ball in a miniscule voice.

"What?" asked Adam Sandler.

"I SAID, YOUR SCUFFLE HAS AWAKENED ME FROM MY 20,000 YEAR LONG SLUMBER!" said the Golf Ball.

Before Adam could ask any further, the golf ball raised his hand in the air and fired a bright red laser beam in Adam Sander's direction.

"HOLY SHITBALLS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled Adam Sandler as he was disintegrated on the spot.

The golf ball then said to no one in particular "now, I must prepare for the upcoming galactic wars" before flying into space and never being seen again.

Ultraman the Killer sprung back up and said "aww yeah, two victims in a single day."

Ultraman the Killer then raised his hands up in the air and flew away to continue his massacre.

....

To cap off this stupendous day, Ultraman the Killer flew directly into a College dorm party.

The confident serial killer yelled "ALRIGHT, WHO WANTS TO BE THE FIRST TO TASTE THE WRATH OF ULTRAMAN THE KILLER!?"

The College kids looked at each other before one brave man stepped up to take rein and Ultraman the Killer couldn't believe his eyes.

"IT'S MY LONG LOST BROTHER, ULTRAMAN THE ALIVER!" exclaimed Ultraman the Killer.

Ultraman the Aliver stepped into the spotlight in all his glory, and boy was it a sight to behold. Unlike our silver giant protagonist, Ultraman the Aliver was solid gold. The aura that radiated from him could brighten up anyone's spirit. If one were to be in his presence, they'd describe it as holy

"Brother, it would appear that it's time for us to wage our legendary battle once again." said Ultraman the Aliver.

"Well, let's hop to it then!" said Ultraman the Killer.

"DEFEND YOURSELF" said Ultraman the Aliver before leaping into action.

Ultraman the Aliver first attacked his brother with a kick to the face, causing the silver giant to get knocked back.

Ultraman the Killer said "kay, I wasn't expecting that, but let's see how ya handle this!" before leaping towards his brother and unleashing a series of wing chun chain punches on him.

Ultraman the Aliver blocked 90% of them, but a few of them actually nicked the savior of mankind, drawing a little bit of blood from the hero.

The fanboy of Kamen Rider the Killer then attempted to follow up his attack rush with another punch towards Ultraman the Aliver's face, but his brother blocked it with one hand and knee'd him in the stomach, this time making Ultraman the Killer cough up blood in return.

Ultraman the Killer tried punching his brother once more, but Ultraman the Aliver was one step ahead and ducked underneath his blow. The hero followed up his expert evasion with a krav maga elbow to Ultraman the Killer's jaw, sending his brother to the ground once again.

Ultraman the Killer tried getting back up, but it was no use, his body had taken too much damage from the fight. He'd been beaten so badly that he'd began throwing up on the spot.

Finally, Ultraman the Aliver declared "let's finish this" before leaping into the air with the intent of performing the mother of all jumpkicks.

As Ultraman the Killer threw up on the ground, he'd spied his brother coming at him as almost a symbol of the inevitability of death. Only one thing crossed his mind as he threw up once more.

"I've gotta stop drinking"

Ultraman the Aliver's kick landed squarely into his brother's chest, causing the killer to go flying back and making the killer explode on impact.

As the entire dorm cheered, Ultraman the Aliver sighed and said. "I'm sorry brother, I wish things could've been different between us."

Or at least, that's what Ultraman the Aliver imagined happening. Instead, before he could do anything, Ultraman the Aliver stepped on a banana peel and slipped all over the dorm room before falling into a conveniently placed blender.

Before Ultraman the Aliver could pull himself out, a random brick fell from the sky and landed directly on the ON button for the blender and caused Ultraman the Aliver to get turned into blood pudding, soaking Ultraman the Killer and the other college students in a geyser of blood.

Ultraman the Killer looked around and said "see that? That's what happens when ya mess with me!"

Absolutely no one bought this, but Ultraman the Killer certainly thought they did.

"That's what I thought" said Ultraman the Killer before raising his arms and flying away.

....

Ultraman landed at his apartment and prepared to go to bed after a long day of (getting really lucky) killing people. As Ultraman prepared to turn the key, the silver giant felt something was wrong.

"Something's wrong" said Ultraman

It was almost as if the aura of the whole scene was off, but he couldn't quite figure out how.

"It's almost as if the aura's off, but I don't know how."

Then Ultraman noticed something, the door to his apartment had been unlocked!

"Wait a minute, the door to my apartment has been unlo-"

Hey bitch can you shut the fuck up and quit copying everything I say?

"Sorry Mr. Narrator" said Ultraman the Killer depressingly.

Thank you. Anyways, Ultraman pondered the reason for why things seemed so suspicious.

Then, almost as if an answer provided itself, the door flew off its hinges and the Slenderman exited from his door.

Ultraman the Killer smiled "ayy yo Slendy my man, how's it hangin?"

Slenderman just scoffed and said "you haven't done as you promised, so I've come to take my powers back."

Ultraman the Killer said "nah broski, you sent me out to kill, and I have."

Slenderman said "no, those were just suicides that you were coincidentally at the scene for."

Ultraman the Killer just said "nuh uh"

Slenderman responded with "yuh huh"

"Nuh uh"

"Yuh huh"

"Nuh uh"

"Yuh huh"

"Nuh uh"

"Yuh huh"

"Nuh uh"

"Yuh huh"

"Nuh uh"

"Yuh huh"

This went on for 30 more minutes before Slenderman exclaimed "ENOUGH OF THIS FOOLISHNESS! It's time for you to return the powers, or I'll take them from you."

Ultraman the Killer said "well good luck trying, I'm a master of kung fu, taekwondo, jiu jitsu, aikido, tai chi, muy tai, boxing, kickboxing, jeet kun do, kara-" but before Ultraman the Killer could continue, Slenderman had already stuck a tentacle into his chest and absorbed his powers, turning our main character back into regular Mandrew Andrews.

Mandrew Andrews now stood there once again before saying "you know what? I don't need any powers to continue my killing spree, I'll keep at my crusade. I won't be Ultraman the Killer though, no no, I'll go by a new name!"

Mandrew Andrews cleared his throat, in fact, he was clearing it a bit too much to the point where you'd think he was doing an impression of a race car.

"My new name will be, MAN THE KILLER!"

He then looked at the reader and said "Patented, trademarked, 2026"

Slenderman just looked at him and sarcastically said "well, good"

Man the Killer said "fine"

Slenderman said "alright"

Man said "ok"

Slenderman said "go and unleash your incredibly terrible killing spree"

Man said "fine I will"

Man the Killer turned his back on Slenderman and left to go continue causing trouble.

.....

An hour later, they were holding a funeral service for Man the Killer. Apparently he stepped on a rusty nail in an attempt to reenact his favorite scene from Home Alone and got an infection.

This time, not even the man trying to sell laundry detergent showed up, as he'd actually found somebody to buy his laundry detergent and became a millionaire overnight.

Truly a sad ending for one of the worst creepypasta villains of all time.

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WHY ARE YOU STILL FUCKING HERE!?