The Creepy Pasta

WARNING: This story is not recommended for viewers under the age of 72. It contains text with English letters that some viewers may find disturbing. Viewer discretion is useless.

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I was walking home from school one day when I saw a man in an alleyway dressed as a stereotypical Italian chef. As soon as he saw me, he ran to me. He said "MAMA MIA! WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY MY SPAGHETTI?! IT'S VERY NORMAL AND DELICIOUS AND DOES NOT CONTAIN HUMAN BLOOD-A!" Pasta that doesn't contain human blood? I'm in. He grabbed a table and chair, I'm not sure from where, but somehow he had them. I sat down as he put the plate of pasta on the table. I started eating it, but something was off. The sauce didn't taste liked tomatoes, it tasted metallic. That's when I realized...he lied to me. How could he lie to me?! He specifically said it didn't have human blood! I threw the table, chair and pasta at him in anger and went home. I was starting to get a bit anxious, because blood can carry diseases. What kind of diseases were in that pasta?

I woke up the next day, and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. However, when I looked in the mirror, something was off about my face. It seemed to be getting a bit pale. However, I shrugged it off and brushed my teeth.

At school, during lunch, someone threw a mountain at me and it hurt really bad. I started crying, but everyone was looking at me like I was crying blood. I went to the mirror, and realized that I was, indeed, crying blood. I screamed, but my voice sounded really deep when I screamed. I sounded like a monster. I decided to go to the nurse's office, but she was confused, too. She sent me home due to how concerning this was.

I woke up the next morning. My parents took me to the doctor yesterday, and they gave me everything they could to fix me. But when I went to the mirror, my face was even more pale and my voice was really deep and loud. I was crying blood again, but the blood looked different. It looked...hyperrealistic. I ran to my mom to tell her, and she took me to the doctor again. The doctor said that one of his needles had Hyperrealistium in it, which is a chemical that causes weird things to happen to your body. He said there was no cure, but told me not to touch any knives over the next few days.

I was curious by what the doctor meant when he said not to touch any knives, so I went to the kitchen to touch a knife. I hesitated, since the doctor told me not to, but I touched one anyway. That's when I started getting weird. The knife was stuck to my hand, I couldn't get it off. My brain completely stopped working and my body started moving and thinking on its own. I ran around my house with a knife, killing everyone in the house. I even decided to kill the house itself. I then ran around outside killing everyone in my sight.

Local newspaper: Mysterious killer resembling Jeff the Killer from that one Creepypasta

That's when I realized...I was turning into Jeff the Killer. I then realized it had to have been the Pasta Man, he wasn't giving me normal pasta, he was giving me...creepy pasta. I picked up my knife and ran towards that alleyway to get revenge. I killed him to death.

I woke up at 3am at 6am the next afternoon to a letter at my front door. It was a court summoning from Jeff the Killer. Apparently, I was copying him, so he sued me for copyright. (How do you copyright your face???) I went to the court and saw Jeff the Killer sitting there. The judge appeared to be Slenderman with a judge wig. Jeff's lawyer appeared to be Smile Dog. I sat down next to Jeff, and he looked disappointed in me. I didn't have a lawyer, so I was probably fucked. Slenderman started the trial, and Jeff claimed that I was copying his face. I claimed that it wasn't my fault, and that I was tricked into looking like this without knowing. Smile Dog barked at Slenderman. He was convinced, and Jeff immediately won. Slenderman sentenced me to find his pages. But before I could react, Pasta Man busted through the door. He was suing me for murdering him. He sat down next to me, and said "Looks like it worked, huh?" before turning to the judge. "And who are you?" asked Slenderman. He pointed to me and said "This man murdered me! Mama mia!"

"Then how are you here?"

"That's not important!"

I then explained what he did to me, and that his punishment was deserved and not mine. I also explained how his actions caused Jeff's case with me. Smile Dog started biting Jeff so he threw him out the window and he landed on the sun.

"What was that, Jeff? Did you just kill your lawyer?! I'm going to have to send you to my forest."

He hit his hammer and he disappeared. He was supposedly teleported to Slender's forest. Now that he was out of the case, it was just me and Pasta Man. I explained everything that happened, but every time the Pasta Man tried to object, all he could say was "Mama mia!", so he was teleported to Slender's forest, too. I won the case, and I won $666,666,666,666,666,666, which made me the richest person ever. With my 666 quintillion dollars, I bought the universe and destroyed it. I then created a new universe, which is where you live today. Yes, this happened that long ago.